Fair and Balanced

People say I pick on Democrats too much. Well, they deserve it! But to show you that I am fair and balanced, I decided to poke a little fun at some Republicans in the current field of presidential candidates. Here goes:

Herman Cain had a bad week after Politico reported that two women made sexual harassment claims against him in the '90s. Cain denies the accusations.... and says he will personally spank any women who claim otherwise!

If Mitt Romney wins the GOP nomination, I think he should consider Donald Trump for his vice president. Not because Trump is an expert in economics or foreign policy..... but compared to Trump, Mitt can never be accused of having a bad hair day.

My man Rick Perry let his hair down and was having a good 'ol time during a speech he gave this week in New Hampshire. Some say he looked a little tipsy and called the governor a hypocrite for taking a drink after all his talk about being a Christian..... but it's OK, though, he's a Baptist.

Jon Huntsman hasn't been seen or heard from since the last GOP debate. Some wonder what kind of president he would make. I say that's exactly the kind of president we need.... one who knows how to keep quiet and stay out of the way.

Newt Gingrich has come out with his 21st Century Contract With America. It's a 10-point plan to revive America, which he says would take eight years in office to accomplish. Eight years? At his age, I'd be worried that Newt would expire before the contract does.

Rick Santorum has complained that he doesn't get enough camera time at the debates. He should be grateful for that. If people begin to hear some of the things he's proposing, he could soon be out of the debates altogether. He'll be better off if he just stands there and looks pretty.

Some have questioned Michele Bachmann's ability to be president because she suffers from migraine headaches. They may have a point. Just imagine what would happen if the phone rings at the White House at 3 o'clock in the morning and she picks it up and says.... "Not tonight. I have a headache!"

That's it for the Republicans..... now back to my regularly scheduled liberal bashing!