Accepting The Unexpected

This journey through life is full of unpredictable twists and turns, and my life just took one of those unexpected turns.  I always knew that day would come, but I didn't expect it so soon.  No one did.

We lost my dear mama on March 23.  She passed away peaceably after a month-long struggle.  She had fallen in her house on Valentine's Day.  It was actually in the early morning hours of Feb. 15 when she passed out in the kitchen and fell.  When she came to, she found two paramedics standing over her.  She asked how they got in her kitchen!  Thank God her life alert system notified authorities when she fell.

Mom had a broken hip and a badly broken shoulder.  She underwent a five-hour surgery the next day to put rods in her leg and completely replace her shoulder.  Then the long recovery process began.

She was in pain.  A lot of pain.  Mom was moved from the hospital to the Pampa Nursing Center, which is where I also live.  Our rooms were across the hall from each other, and Mom began her physical therapy.

Mom tried to do the exercises, but she was just in so much pain.  The pain medicine made her sleepy and confused.  She did NOT like going to therapy.  We nearly had to force her to eat.  She insisted that she wasn't hungry.  She tried to eat and do the therapy, but I guess you could say her heart just wasn't into it. 

I could see Mom was tired.  She was 81 years old, and she had spent nearly 50 years of her life devoted to taking care of me.  I remember Mom saying she hoped she'd be here for me as long as I needed her.  During the four weeks that she was here at the nursing home, she was able to see how the nurses and aides took care of me and that I was in good hands.  Besides the nursing staff, I had Karen and my aunts and cousins to watch out for me.  I think when she saw for herself that I would be taken care of, she decided it would be all right to go on ahead to heaven. 

In her last few days here, Mom had a lot of anxiety, still struggling and worrying about those of us she'd leave behind.  Finally, her heart of gold just gave out.  They called it broken heart syndrome.   It's a real condition and is basically a temporary heart condition that's often brought on by stressful situations or anxiety.

Mom broke a lot of our hearts when she left because she was so loved by many.  But while her heart condition was fatal, our hearts will recover physically but emotionally we will always miss her.

It all happened so fast.  I don't think it has really sunk in yet that she's gone.  I keep expecting her to walk in.  I never expected it to happen this way.  I've just tried to accept it as God's timing.  He has a master plan for each of us.  The Bible says we walk by faith.  Sometimes, it takes a whole lot of faith to accept the unexpected.  But if we'll hold on to Him, God will see us through.