Tuesday, November 20, 2012

Food for Thought

Just in time for Thanksgiving, here's a little "food" for thought:
 
What's the beef against beef? The Los Angeles council passed a resolution urging residents to adopt a personal pledge to have a “meatless Monday.” These California meatheads said they hope it will start a trend, make residents healthier and reduce the impact on the environment. They'll surely have to beef up enforcement at some fast-food restaurants. Another reason why we should eat at Chick-fil-A! I say, if you don't like meat, don't pig out on it. But don't have a cow over it!

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Last call... for twinkies? It was a close call for that sweet treat we all love. Last week, Hostess announced it was planning to close down operations because it could not come to terms with the union. This sparked consumer frenzy across the nation. Many thought this would mean the death of our beloved twinkies. (Does that mean it would be "cream-ated"?) But there may still be hope for consumers shut out of last week's great Twinkie binge. Hostess and the union have agreed to mediation. Long live the twinkie!

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Someone sent me this funny food e-mail, so I thought I would share it:

God vs. Satan
In the beginning, God created the Heavens and the Earth and populated the Earth with broccoli, cauliflower and spinach, green and yellow and red vegetables of all kinds, so Man and Woman would live long and healthy lives.

Then using God’s great gifts, Satan created Ben and Jerry’s Ice Cream and Krispy Creme Donuts. And Satan said, “You want chocolate with that?” And Man said, “Yes!” and Woman said, “and as long as you’re at it, add some sprinkles.” And they gained 10 pounds. And Satan smiled.

And God created the healthful yogurt that Woman might keep the figure that Man found so fair. And Satan brought forth white flour from the wheat, and sugar from the cane and combined them. And Woman went from size 6 to size 14.

So God said, “Try my fresh green salad.” And Satan presented Thousand-Island Dressing, buttery croutons and garlic toast on the side. And Man and Woman unfastened their belts following the repast.

God then said, “I have sent you heart healthy vegetables and olive oil in which to cook them.” And Satan brought forth deep fried fish and chicken-fried steak so big it needed its own platter. And Man gained more weight and his cholesterol went through the roof.

 God then created a light, fluffy white cake, named it “Angel Food Cake,” and said, “It is good.” Satan then created chocolate cake and named it “Devil’s Food.”

God then brought forth running shoes so that His children might lose those extra pounds. And Satan gave cable TV with a remote control so Man would not have to toil changing the channels. And Man and Woman laughed and cried before the flickering blue light and gained pounds.

Then God brought forth the potato, naturally low in fat and brimming with nutrition. And Satan peeled off the healthful skin and sliced the starchy center into chips and deep-fried them. And Man gained pounds.

 God then gave lean beef so that Man might consume fewer calories and still satisfy his appetite. And Satan created McDonald’s and its 99-cent double cheeseburger. Then said, “You want fries with that?” And Man replied, “Yes! And super size them!” And Satan said, “It is good.” And Man went into cardiac arrest.

God sighed and created quadruple bypass surgery.

Then Satan created HMOs.

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Happy Thanksgiving and happy eating!

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