Congratulations, Hillary! You've made history! For the first time in our nation's history, a major political party will nominate a career criminal to run for president. Yes, Hillary Clinton is the first one to run for president while under criminal investigation by the FBI.
That's quite an achievement. You must be so proud, Hil! Normally, politicians wait until they're in office to start committing crimes. Not Hillary. She's got a rap sheet as long as her growing nose! Her crimes date back to her days in Arkansas and Whitewater. She must figure that when she becomes president she can just pardon herself.
She can expunge her record, you know, like she did with her internet server when she deleted all those e-mails. The voters don't seem to care about Hillary's criminal past. It took her until June 7, but she's finally racked up enough delegates to clinch the Democratic nomination. It was an historic moment.
Not to be outdone, the Republicans are making history, too. For the first time in history, the Republicans will nominate a Democrat to run at the top of the GOP ticket! How about that!
In the past, Republicans have nominated several RINOs (Republican In Name Only) to run for president. Remember John McCain and Mitt Romney? They weren't exactly conservatives but at least they supported most of the GOP's positions. But Donald Trump is the first bonafide Democrat to run on the Republican ticket.
Trumps says he's a conservative, but his talk is far different from his walk. The man is campaigning as a conservative — but I’d be willing to bet that he’s secretly plotting to govern as a liberal. In just the past few days, we’ve seen him begin to waffle on issues like abortion and religious liberty.
There have been many firsts already in this election seasons, and we're not even to the conventions yet. This is definitely one for the history books!
